Thursday, April 26, 2012

Skippy Says: 25 Weeks (Pregnancy Journal)

25 Weeks


Dear baby girl,

As my bump continues to grow, I'm finding everyday life a bit more challenging. I have a hard time shaving my legs because my stomach is in the way. I have a hard time doing mountain climbers at the gym because my stomach is in the way. I have a hard time bending down to put on my shoes because my stomach is in the way. Are you sensing a theme here?

I hate to say it, but the thing that's suffered most is my sleep. And I take that personally. You see, I'm really good at sleeping. Or at least I used to be. I was known as the #1 sleeper on the block. One of my proudest stories is of how I impressed the bejeezus out of a doctor with my sleeping abilities. I had to stay up all night for some electrode test thingy they were running on me to see why I faint (side note: I hope you don't inherit that from me). The reason they ask you to stay up all night is because they need you to fall into at least a stage 1 or 2 sleep in a brightly lit hospital room while they test your brain activity, and most people are too uncomfortable to do that unless they're severely sleep deprived. But not your mama. I fell into REM sleep within 2 minutes of laying down on that hospital bed, and continued to sleep through all the pricks and pokes and prods. In fact, I'm told I continued to sleep as the doctor lifted my eyelids and shone bright flashlights in them. How's that for impressive? But I'm largely too uncomfortable to sleep much of the night nowadays, allotting myself 10 hours of sleep in hopes of actually getting 6-7. You see? Not only have you taken away my ability to wear cute clothes and have non-furry legs, but now you've also taken away the number one thing I used to be good at. You best be cute is all I'm sayin'.

Despite the discomforts, all of the sudden I'm not as eager to get pregnancy over with as soon as possible. I realized today I only have 15 weeks left of you being in my belly before you make your grand entrance. Only 15 weeks left of being able to take you absolutely everywhere I go, of being able to fully protect you from everything in the outside world until certain things will be out of my hands. And you will learn quickly how I do not like or deal too well with things being out of my hands. Especially when it comes to you.

Love,
Mama


Thursday, April 19, 2012

Skippy Says: 24 Weeks (Pregnancy Journal)

24 weeks

Dear baby girl,

I have been waiting for this day since the moment I found out I was pregnant with you. You see, starting at 24 weeks your chances of survival should you be born early are pretty darn good. As in, I could tell that rather unsympathetic doctor I spoke with a few weeks ago to shove it. Although I'm pretty sure you still weigh just over a pound so if you could hang out inside me for just a bit longer and grow to a reasonable size so I'm not scared of breaking you I'd appreciate it.

My book tells me that at 24 weeks your face is fully formed, complete with eyelashes, eyebrows, and a good amount of hair on your head. Except apparently that hair is currently "snow white" since you haven't gotten the whole developing pigment stuff down quite yet. That's still a comin'.

You're moving a ton these days, and so strongly that you could see my stomach jiggle with your kicks and punches. It's pretty entertaining, though it makes for a sadly unproductive morning. I had grand plans to read a chapter in one of my child-birthing books while the baby I nanny for slept this morning, but you decided it was a good time to kick so instead I rolled up my shirt and stared at my involuntarily vibrating belly for about 45 minutes straight. I'm pretty sure this means that once you are born I'll just stare at you all day and get absolutely no work done. It's not creepy if it's your mama doing it, right?

I gotta admit it's not just your movements that make my belly entertaining to look at. I'm a major innie, so I don't think I'll be one of those mamas whose belly button sticks out normally, but mine has started to poke out if I apply pressure around it in just the right way. The first time I showed daddy he said "ewwwww" but now he's come around and is as amused by it as I am. Last night at our prenatal appointment, our midwife was complimenting how nice my belly looked and how I hadn't developed any stretch marks. I promptly responded by showing her my belly button trick. What? I was proud. She tried to be polite, but her face couldn't hold it together.  Oh well, maybe if I show her again next time she'll get used to it like daddy did.

Love,

Mama



Thursday, April 12, 2012

Skippy Says: 23 Weeks (Pregnancy Journal)

23 Weeks

Dear baby girl,

I can't believe how strong you have gotten in such a short amount of time. I had kind of a late start on feeling you move, but since then you have more than made up for it with your kicks getting stronger daily. When you're feeling particularly excitable, you kick so hard that daddy can see your squirms just by looking at my belly! No luck so far with determining whether it's your hand, foot, head, or some other body part that's the culprit, but daddy can tell exactly where inside my belly you're moving since that part will raise slightly up from the rest of my belly and jiggle a bit. Daddy gets super excited pointing to the part of my belly where he sees you and going "there," "there," and then looking over to me for confirmation. You can bet we have a new nightly ritual. And you can bet I have no say in whether or not I want to do it. Lastly, you can bet I'm going to start messing with his head by pretending you're kicking in a totally different spot than he sees. Hey, if he can have his fun, I can have mine.

You definitely have your favorite times to move around-- in the morning, at night, anytime after I eat, and, strangely enough, whenever I'm riding on the bus. All the other times are supposedly common, but that last one is a doozy. I'm not sure what it is about the bus that gets you so riled up. Is it the stop and go jerky motion? The people standing next to me invading my personal space? I certainly hope it's not that one man who smells like he hasn't showered in, oh, about a decade who I always have to try to discreetly move away from so that I don't gag. My books tell me all your senses have developed now, so I know you know who I'm talking about. Plus, I swear I can feel you scrunching up your nose in disgust whenever we're less than 10 feet away from him.

Speaking of your developed senses, you apparently can hear everything I hear now too. I mean, in a muffled, protected by layers of tissue and amniotic fluid sort of way, but still. Perhaps that means I should stop swearing so much. At this rate, you'll fly down my birth canal yelling "craaaaap," which I think would leave your grandmas and grandpas pretty disappointed, although undoubtedly impressed.

I've told daddy he should start talking to you now that you can hear him, since I've read that if he talks to you enough you'll come to recognize his voice and kick in response to hearing it. Pretty neat, huh? Daddy's interpretation of my order request is to put his mouth right up on my belly and say "moooooove, come on, moooooooooove." And then he sticks is tongue in my belly button because he's gross like that and knows it will make me squeal in horror. I'm generally unable to fight back on my own, though I put up a damn darn good fight. I can't wait until you're around, and we can plot ways to get back at him together. You know you wanna be on my side.

Love,

Mama

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Skippy Says: 22 Weeks (Pregnancy Journal)

22 Weeks

Dear baby girl,

Well, this week has been infinitely better than the last one. Thank goodness. Maybe I'll take back that spanking I was going to give you after all. You haven't pulled any crazy shenanigans. Aside from kicking me all the time that is, but that's a shenanigan that makes me smile so I'll let it slide. You're welcome. Your kicks have been getting stronger and stronger, and daddy is able to feel them now as well. Every night when he gets home from work he makes me lie down, puts his hands on my belly, and tells you to move. Often you comply, but not always. If you decide to be rebellious, he squishes my belly around trying to wake you up, and if that makes you give him a kick he gets a really goofy grin on his face. I hope you inherit that goofy grin of his.

This past weekend the San Francisco public library was having a fundraiser selling old books, so daddy and I went and got you 28 books. I thought I'd maybe find one or two, but two minutes in I instructed daddy to go grab a big cart as I attempted to balance 8 books in one hand while using the other hand to browse through more. I couldn't help myself. So many good books! To read to you, and, eventually, for you to read to me. Plus, they were only $1 a piece, and you know how mama loves a good bargain. I hope you inherit that love of mine. But maybe not quite to the crazy extent I have it. Case in point, I hope you don't buy really bad tasting B12 vitamins that you have to let dissolve under your tongue instead of the more expensive kind you simply swallow just because they're buy one bottle, get the second one for 1 cent. I know that sounds like an amazing deal, but there's a reason it exists. You'll never take them except when daddy physically holds your kicking and screaming body down and shoves them in your mouth makes you.

I'm just about 5 months pregnant now, and I can't believe how many people still can't tell I'm pregnant. I feel huge. H.U.G.E. It just boggles my mind people aren't making the connection yet. In fact, it's like people purposefully refuse to believe it. Just a few days ago, I was reading a book on childbirth when a woman came up to me and asked me if I was a midwife. Really? A midwife? That's your question for me when you see me reading Birthing From Within? Not "when are you due?" or even a more modest "are you expecting?" but "are you a midwife?" It took every ounce of strength I had not to punch her in the face. I think I now understand why pregnant women rub their belly so much- they do it when they want to let others know they're pregnant. That's when I rub mine anyway. On the bus wanting to sit down? Rub my belly. Someone looking at me like I'm really fat? Rub my belly. In a bar for a friend's birthday party? Definitely don't rub my belly.

Love,

Mama
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