Thursday, March 8, 2012

Skippy Says: 18 Weeks (Pregnancy Journal)

18 weeks

Dear baby,

You know how people tell you you'll look wonderful during pregnancy? You'll have that special "glow?" Well, I'm calling bullshit. Either that, or I'm still waiting on mine. No part of me feels glowy when I reach inside my closet and find I have nothing I can comfortably fit into to wear for the day. Nor is there anything glowy about getting out of breath and winded doing a "hike" (let's be honest, it's a walk) that didn't even used to get my heart rate up. And you know what? I definitely don't feel glow-y when I go bathing suit shopping to find a suit I can fit into so I can swim at my gym. Ain't nothing glowy about what I'm seeing in the mirror. Not. a. thing.

I always thought I'd be one of those pregnant women who loved being pregnant. After all, I've wanted to be pregnant and have you for as long as I can remember, so it only made sense. I yearned to feel my belly grow, to rub my hands over it in a circular motion like I'd seen other pregnant ladies do. You can't tell me that doesn't sound like fun. But you know what? The truth is I don't feel that way. I'm no less ecstatic about having you-- I can't wait for five (looooooong) months from now when I'll finally get to cradle your little body in my arms and make annoying cooing noises that will make all my friends hate me. But for now at least, the joy for me comes when I hear your heart beat thumping away, sounding cute and little just like you; from when I think I might feel your little body moving inside mine. It definitely does not come from my tights clothes and expanding belly. Not yet anyway.

My 18th week of pregnancy coincides with Purim this year. It's unbelievable to think that around this time next year I'll be celebrating Purim with a 6 month old you in my arms. This year, I celebrated with you in my belly by taking you to your first Megillah reading at the synagogue. Purim is the most joyous of the Jewish holidays, a day where it is literally considered a mitzvah (a good deed) to be happy and share that happiness with others. Noisemakers, costumes, and cookies are all a part of the festivities. Oh, and alcohol (for those who can indulge, of course). It is literally a mitzvah to get drunk on Purim. Does that make you excited to be Jewish or what? Since I wasn't able to partake, I ate extra cookies to make up for it. I had to, you know, because it's a mitzvah.

Purim time is always full of happiness for me, as I hope it will be for you. I remember exchanging mishloach manot (baskets filled with gifts of food or drink exchanged on Purim between family and friends as a sign of love and friendship) with friends at school-- how much fun I had picking out what to give and then opening up what I got in return. I remember music in the hallway between classes with rabbis carrying students on their shoulders and dancing around. I remember color war-- the week leading up to Purim when the school got divided up into 5 teams of different colors, with competitions and games for the first 3 hours of every day. I remember the Purim carnival ending all the festivities, when the school gym magically transformed into my idea of heaven and I would die trying to win tickets for prizes I'd forget about a few minutes after I got them. Your grandma and grandpa gave me all that joy because of the school they sent me to, the community they surrounded me with. I hope I can give the same to you.




  1. This is so sweet! I love reading your letters to baby. He or she is going to be a lucky little one to have such a great mama. And yes, pregnancy is not always fun...especially the clothes not fitting part. And the not drinking during awesome holidays part (or just not drinking in general). But it is all worth it! And I am sure you will soon be happily rubbing your belly!

  2. I love this post! I learned a bit about Purim through my friends in the Jewish Law Students' Association when I was in school. And I'm a member of the JCC gym, so I've seen a lot about it. Seems like such a fun time, and next year you'll have a 6-month-old! So exciting. Try not to get down on yourself, and definitely keep searching for a swimsuit - I see pregnant women at my gum all the time in the pool, and they seem to have good luck with two-piece Speedo or Tyr suits - they look more like sports suits so they are not revealing like a normal bikini would be. Good luck!

  3. My sister joked before she got pregnant with her first that she was going to actually lose weight because she wouldn't be able to drink for 9 months :D

    Well, I know I told you yesterday that I noticed your "glow". You may not see it, but others do :)

    I think a really cute polka-dotted one piece would be adorable.

  4. Yay for extra cookies! :) I didn't know much about Purim, so I really enjoyed reading your thoughts and recollections on the holiday. It sounds like such a fun day for kids. :)

  5. i love hamentaschen! yum! your school sounds awesome! watch this, you'll find it funny :)

  6. You know, I can absolutely see that glow on your pictures! Your smile just radiates and you're just truly beautiful. :)

  7. I love reading through these letters :) Pregnancy isn't always the bomb but looking at my pregnant friends - its a struggle but in the end there is a reward :)

  8. With both boys, I did not enjoy being pregnant! I was just so sick and friends said I did not glow, I just kind of oozed...ha!
    Kids love boys love all the noise and think they get a second halloween since they get to dress up!!

  9. Hang in there mama...I've been there! Concealer and maxi dresses have done wonders for me this time around. Ha!

  10. It's nice to get to know your Jewish tradition. And I enjoy reading your pregnancy journal. Your feelings are so real. I wore my normal clothes even
    During pregnancy the clothes just get stretched more. I even raided my husband wardrobe for his shirts. I don't look radiant and glowing all the time too. It's OK dearie....pregnant women still need make up.


  11. No pictures of your Purim costume? Very uncharacteristic :-)

  12. Thanks for sharing! I seriously love your pregancy's a beautiful thing to read and like I said, let's me know somewhat how I will feel when I' finally have one on the way!

    Wish I could see your costume...I attended a Purim celebration a couple years ago and greatly enjoyed it. The story of Esther has long been one of my favourites in Scripture--when I was little, for the obvious girly reasons, but as I've grown up, I've grown into the deeper ones. It's a beautiful story!!!

    <3 cambria


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